Friday, August 12, 2011

Victoria on Higher Education

Wee 1 suffers from horrible allergies. In fact we have strongly considered pursuing a restraining order against dust mites, but apparently dead micro-organisms fall outside the purview of the county court system. Victoria's allergies are so bad that she must take daily meds to control them and visit the allergist weekly for shots. Though I initially felt that these visits would be more painful for me than the child who was being poked with the needle, I have come to see them as a blessing, because each week I am able to give her 1 hour of uninterrupted mommy and Wee time that results in conversations like this.

Wee 1: Mom, do you have to go to college to be a mom?

Mom: Nope.

Wee 1: Are you serious? Don't you have to go to college to do even simple things like learning to operate heavy machinery and identify rapid mood swings?

Mom: No honey, that's the voice over information from the Lunesta drug commercial. I told you, you aren't allowed to watch programming with commercials. Do we need to revoke your TV privileges?

Wee 1: I think you are losing sight of the big picture mom!

Mom: How so?

Wee 1: If you don 't have to go to college how do you know you are doing it right - being a mom I mean?

Mom: You don't know if you are doing it right, you just do what you can and hope for the best?

Wee 1: HOPE FOR THE BEST!! This is my future you are talking about!

Mom: Well, sweetie you are so stinking smart you can do anything when you grow up. I always figured - you'd cure cancer or some other equally heinous medical demon or become a member of the FBI's most wanted list. The way I figure it - it's up to you to make good choices with what I've taught you.

Wee 1 sits quietly for awhile chewing on her lip and ruminating. As we pull into the allergists parking lot she asks, "Is college expensive?"

Mom: Yup, but with hard work you'll figure it out. Mommy and Daddy made it through on scholarships and lots of jobs. We didn't take fancy Spring breaks, worked every day in the Summers, heck we even joined the Army so that we wouldn't have any student loans.

Wee 1: Doctor's are the ones who cure cancer right? And they have to go to college right?

Mom: Yes, yes they do on both accounts. Aunt Katie is a Doctor and she attended college for almost a decade.

Wee 1: A decade - that's close to 10 years!!! How am I going to have any time to get on the FBI's most Wanted list if I spend 10 years trying to become a doctor!! They're sure to find somebody they like more by then.

Mom: Oh, dear - the FBI's most wanted list is not a good thing to be on.

Wee 1: Mom - "wanted" is a good word. Like I wanted that DS game last week, but you didn't buy it for me. It's a good word. Are you sure their aren't college classes to take about becoming a mom?

Victoria rolled her eyes at me and stomped off to get her shot.

I was just about to call her back when she proudly proclaimed to the nurse, "When I grow I am going to try and make the FBI's most wanted list - isn't that great!"

I couldn't very well abandon the child in the doctor's office without actually making the very list in question. So I buried myself in a magazine and waited our 30 minutes to pass so we could leave. The kindly nurse eyed me funnily when Wee 1 went up to have her shot site examined for a reaction and when we received the all clear sign I sprinted Victoria through the door.

A wee bit in need of tutoring,