I know it has been quiet in the Wee Blogosphere for awhile now. But I have good reason for my silence- a heinous, perfidious, dark and sneaky enemy has been besieging our Wee kingdom for several weeks and seems ill likely to give up its evil assault.
The name of this dastardly foe .... the EAR INFECTION MONSTER!
As is the case with most horrendous plagues, the ear infection monster is attracted to first born sons and the younger the better. Wee 4 has had a double ear infection for going on 6 weeks. Though he has been whisked against his will to all manner of people with very large certificates of "I know something about what is wrong with you" a cure has yet to be found.
Much has been made of the "antibiotics" which are to fight back and slay the Ear Infection Monster, but all they have done so far is to create an endless number of separate problems which can be encapsulated under the title "blow outs." In fact the use of 3 separate antibiotics have created an internal war within Wee 4's body which require the introduction of the probiotics. I hate to be political, but it is quite clear that the "pro's" in this battle are sissies as the "anti's" continue to wreak havoc. Their anarchistic displays of intestinal displeasure have tripled the needed contents of my diaper bag and reduced the number of others willing to hold Baby Wee due to the potential hazards of "blow back."
Those of you who are stalwart Whimsis of the Wee followers know that Wee 4 has always been a finicky baby. Not one who believes in taking a nap or (anything else for the team for that matter) he has chosen to be particularly offended by his selection as the Ear Infection Monster's target. His drool is even more plentiful then normal. In fact the city council of Niagara Falls is threatening to sue Reid as his oral deluge is becoming a popular destination for hordes of love blind honeymooners. His already sensitive and eczema challenge skin has become lacerated underneath his inflamed ears as his constant tugging irritates his dermis. All of these additonal symptons have taken him from "so cute, but a little fussy" to "cute or not I am sending you to the nearest relative in a well ventilated package" status.
Let it be known however, that here and now I proclaim to eradicate this beast and have set a countdown to ensure its eviction. All Ear Infection Monsters who choose not to succumb to this latest round of feebly effective magical potions (read here ammoxicillin) will be surgically removed and replaced with one uber powerful "tube" at the end of the month (or roundabouts depending on when the not-so-accommodating insurance companies make the time to make this happen) These tubes will ensure that the monster is unable to return and that Wee 4 can return to his usual only slightly perturbed demeanor.
In the meantime we beg the patience and compassion of our blog readers. It is most difficult to slay invisible biological foes, bounce a fussy baby and type in the Wee hours of the morning.
A Wee bit on the defensive,
CarrieAnne
Showing posts with label Reid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reid. Show all posts
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Reid on Entertainment
Though Wee 4 is obviously my fourth child - meaning I successfully raised past infancy 3 other children, I occasionally lose my common sense and use the internet to seek out those hidden gems of parenting I just must have missed the first three times around.
The conundrum I am currently facing is Reid's love of the night life. The kid can't get enough of it. He is every day (with very, very few exceptions) up from 11pm to 4am. Now if this was my first rodeo - it wouldn't be so bad. I would be 7 years younger and not have a dictator (Wee 3) that wakes up at 6am everyday.
With the bags under my eyes beginning to exceed the free weight limits for your first piece of luggage on most airlines, late last night I went in search of advice. Now I don't necessarily feel Reid has to sleep during these hours. If I could at least put him down or entertain him in some other way than singing old Army cadences (he can't get enough of these) I would be thrilled.
Here is what the Parenting Experts say I should do:
1. Play Classical Music - it is sure to soothe my gentle giant and some how make him smarter.
2. Place a slow moving and mirrored object above his head.
3. Speak softly to him with short mono-syllabic words.
So, in desperation and after looking around to make sure no other moms were around at 3am to mock me, I did all these things - many times.
The results - nada, zip - not one moment of happy quietness. Instead, most of the time Wee 4 looked at me as if I had lost my slow moving, classical music playing, gibberish speaking mind. And then to stress the point he was baffled - he screamed, loudly.
In the face of overwhelming defeat I needed to rethink my strategy - did I actually think any of these things were entertaining? Nope. I find classical music depressing (sorry I know that's uncultured) - I find looking at myself in the mirror a bit dull - I mean no matter how many times I blink it is still me - and its really difficult to have an interesting conversation when you are only allowed to use the words on your daughter's kindergarten spelling list.
So here is my new list of things to do when Wee 4 is fussy at night. Each one is Reid tested and giggle inducingly approved. In fact from now on when having a bad day I may do these things to make myself less fussy.
1. Play happy music with a solid base and good tempo - and play it loudly. In fact, combine playing it loudly with goofy dance steps and lots of butt wiggling.
2. Turn Reid's mobile off automatic and spin it as rapidly as possible. The closer Reid's little ocean animal friends came to a mass concussion the harder he laughed.
3. Say long interesting words in a variety of voices. I found Reid likes bizarre cooking ingredients read off in Kung-Fu movie voices. For example "caaarrrraaaadddddammmmooommm" or "muuuuggggwarrrrtt" in different octaves are surefire winners. Throw in an occasional high pitched "hi ya" and "wiiieee" and you are golden.
Now some of you are probably thinking "how did she ever get Wee 4 to sleep once he was so wound up?" Laughter, laughter is the key - apparently in small infants it causes hiccups and exhaustion. Wee 4 went down an hour early last night and once again I proved that real mothers can kick expert butt on little sleep and with no complicated studies or research.
Morale of the Story: Trust your gut - after all that's where your baby spent all his time before birth and he was pretty happy in there.
A bit sheepish for briefly losing my mind,
CarrieAnne
The conundrum I am currently facing is Reid's love of the night life. The kid can't get enough of it. He is every day (with very, very few exceptions) up from 11pm to 4am. Now if this was my first rodeo - it wouldn't be so bad. I would be 7 years younger and not have a dictator (Wee 3) that wakes up at 6am everyday.
With the bags under my eyes beginning to exceed the free weight limits for your first piece of luggage on most airlines, late last night I went in search of advice. Now I don't necessarily feel Reid has to sleep during these hours. If I could at least put him down or entertain him in some other way than singing old Army cadences (he can't get enough of these) I would be thrilled.
Here is what the Parenting Experts say I should do:
1. Play Classical Music - it is sure to soothe my gentle giant and some how make him smarter.
2. Place a slow moving and mirrored object above his head.
3. Speak softly to him with short mono-syllabic words.
So, in desperation and after looking around to make sure no other moms were around at 3am to mock me, I did all these things - many times.
The results - nada, zip - not one moment of happy quietness. Instead, most of the time Wee 4 looked at me as if I had lost my slow moving, classical music playing, gibberish speaking mind. And then to stress the point he was baffled - he screamed, loudly.
In the face of overwhelming defeat I needed to rethink my strategy - did I actually think any of these things were entertaining? Nope. I find classical music depressing (sorry I know that's uncultured) - I find looking at myself in the mirror a bit dull - I mean no matter how many times I blink it is still me - and its really difficult to have an interesting conversation when you are only allowed to use the words on your daughter's kindergarten spelling list.
So here is my new list of things to do when Wee 4 is fussy at night. Each one is Reid tested and giggle inducingly approved. In fact from now on when having a bad day I may do these things to make myself less fussy.
1. Play happy music with a solid base and good tempo - and play it loudly. In fact, combine playing it loudly with goofy dance steps and lots of butt wiggling.
2. Turn Reid's mobile off automatic and spin it as rapidly as possible. The closer Reid's little ocean animal friends came to a mass concussion the harder he laughed.
3. Say long interesting words in a variety of voices. I found Reid likes bizarre cooking ingredients read off in Kung-Fu movie voices. For example "caaarrrraaaadddddammmmooommm" or "muuuuggggwarrrrtt" in different octaves are surefire winners. Throw in an occasional high pitched "hi ya" and "wiiieee" and you are golden.
Now some of you are probably thinking "how did she ever get Wee 4 to sleep once he was so wound up?" Laughter, laughter is the key - apparently in small infants it causes hiccups and exhaustion. Wee 4 went down an hour early last night and once again I proved that real mothers can kick expert butt on little sleep and with no complicated studies or research.
Morale of the Story: Trust your gut - after all that's where your baby spent all his time before birth and he was pretty happy in there.
A bit sheepish for briefly losing my mind,
CarrieAnne
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